oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
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