i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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