I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
