I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
