I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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