i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my shit smells like andre
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
