doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
