I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
