clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
