i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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