he wants to bone in the snuggie
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
