i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
