the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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