sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
