The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
