yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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