Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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