Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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