oh god the rape fog is back!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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