i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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