I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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