I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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