So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
