im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
