i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
