i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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