He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize