I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I need to calm my uterus...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
