Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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