i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
