11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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