That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
