I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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