WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This is my gift to your gina
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
