why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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