just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize