Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
