Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
