Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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