I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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