Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
