Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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