I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
