dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I CAN MOONWALK!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
