never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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