It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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