I wannas sexs uuuuu
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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