I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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