I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
