I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
