Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
