she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
