Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?

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  (314): I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university? http://tfl.nu/bxwk
  Replies (37) Good night (6342) Bad night (863)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.

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  (269): I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience. http://tfl.nu/m1cq
  Replies (29) Good night (1281) Bad night (6645)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.

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  (+44): how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it. http://tfl.nu/3ndz
  Replies (8) Good night (1204) Bad night (3808)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.

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  (210): happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal. http://tfl.nu/4nij
  Replies (49) Good night (7539) Bad night (2196)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car

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  (573): This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car http://tfl.nu/p8ht
  Replies (10) Good night (1542) Bad night (2351)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.

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  (651): I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents. http://tfl.nu/48zb
  Replies (18) Good night (1007) Bad night (2500)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?

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  (305): Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can? http://tfl.nu/kckv
  Replies (2) Good night (1552) Bad night (705)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.

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  (+44): I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs. http://tfl.nu/qoq8
  Replies (7) Good night (2606) Bad night (629)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday

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  (214): This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday http://tfl.nu/yy5w
  Replies (8) Good night (1263) Bad night (468)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk

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  (847): being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk http://tfl.nu/qiyf
  Replies (6) Good night (1106) Bad night (547)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.

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  (513): I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old. http://tfl.nu/lqlu
  Replies (6) Good night (531) Bad night (886)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~

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  (504): Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~ http://tfl.nu/nmyu
  Replies (5) Good night (501) Bad night (701)
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  (916): View more from California

  I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats

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  (916): I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats http://tfl.nu/tjrl
  Replies (2) Good night (484) Bad night (362)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie

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  (308): got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie http://tfl.nu/pesa
  Replies (3) Good night (1483) Bad night (357)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.

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  (586): So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it. http://tfl.nu/xov5
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (273)

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