Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails

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(678): View more from Georgia

We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.

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(903): View more from Texas

I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.

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(740): View more from Ohio

If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me

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