party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine