Only a mothe r could love this liver
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
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Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
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she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.