I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
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"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
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Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?