found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
