I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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