got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
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I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
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I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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