I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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