Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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