Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
