In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Welp...herpes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
