woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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