Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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