the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
