You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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