and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
