i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
