What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Nicole vs. Life
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize