i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
