I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
