i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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