Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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