so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
