i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
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His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
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Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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